The exciting world of BDSM. How to get started?
Talking about abbreviations it’s hard to find one misunderstood as much as BDSM. If you are not familiar with this exciting sexual practice, you may associate it with something harmful and dangerous or at least extremely kinky. But it’s actually none of those things.
Let’s find out what’s hiding under this catchy abbreviation!
B — bondage;
D — discipline and dominance;
S — submission and sadism;
M — masochism.
Bondage and discipline
Bondage is a form of activity mainly focused on restraint. Having another person under control or feeling your pleasure controlled by another person is what makes this game so exciting. The aim of discipline practice is a training of a submissive partner, who will obey and follow the rules. Discipline is an inevitable component in the relationship between a dominant person and a submissive one.
What pieces can be useful here: handcuffs, ropes, blindfolds, harnesses, chokers and leashes. There are a variety of designs and colors of such items, so there is no doubt you will find the one that suits you best.
Dominance and submission
These words don’t sound so unfamiliar, right? Submission is the practice of giving control to another, while dominance is the practice of taking control. The combination of these practices can be physical, emotional or both. For some people these roles are full-time, for others they take place in the bedroom only.
Sadism and masochism
The practices like sadism and masochism are suitable for people who derive pleasure from pain. The sadist is the person who inflicts the pain on the masochist, who in turn receives the pain. Both sides enjoy this type of activity.
If the above description sounds a little scary to you, then we need to say one thing loud and clear:
BDSM should never be considered as a form of abuse.
Consent is the main thing in a BDSM game. It’s all about true intimacy and freedom to be yourself.
If you’re thinking about trying BDSM features, there are some tips for the smooth beginning:
- don’t go to the nearest sex shop a minute after you and your partner have decided to diversify your sexual life. First, try to figure out what turns you on. Use your imagination, don’t be afraid of your wildest fantasies. After that you may decide what toys or accessories can help you.
- talk to your partner. A deep and honest conversation has a huge impact on the quality of your game. Discuss your desires, set the boundaries and explain what you want or do not want. Similarly, let your partner express the way he/she sees your perfect game.
- don’t forget about a safe word. It would be better to choose a word you do not usually say in the bedroom.
- take care of your partner. For example, make sure the skin under the bondage is not irritated.
- go slowly. Even if everything is discussed, there is always a place for a tipping point in the moment. Listen to your body and to your partner, find out what kind of experience brings mutual pleasure to both of you.
Written by Sequoia Harness Team
