What stands behind the power of Dominant

Sequoia Harness


What stands behind the power of Dominant?


Sexual dominance is not about control only. It’s also about guiding the submissive partner experience. Both partners enjoy sexual interaction and willingly play their role (submissive or dominant). 

As the dominant partner is in charge for the submissive partner's pleasure and wellbeing, he (or she) also bears some responsibilities. 


Boundaries respect.

Healthy play includes discussion of the actions you want and do not want to perform. The activities comfortable for both sides are to be discussed before the session. Being dominant you should know and respect the boundaries of your sub. And if your sub feels like you are too close to the boundaries or you are crossing them, the safeword will be pronounced and should always be respected. You can also set two types of safewords. One is for immediate stopping the play and another for changing the direction of the play. 


Toys and tools awareness.

There are various sex toys and other accessories that may be a part of you play. As a dominant you will be in charge of using them safely, so the submissive one won’t get hurt due to too intense and incorrect usage. Slow introduction of the toy/accessory is always a good idea. You can speed up later if you see the sub enjoying it. 


Be ready for emergency.

BDSM interaction can be very intensive, depending on the participants' preferences. A couple of useful items should be available for the safety’s sake. Band-aid, scissors to get rid of the bondage, keys for the locks you use – you can continue this list. Be informed about medical conditions of your sub and have the necessary medications for the emergency. 


Stay connected with your partner.

Mutual pleasure is the only goal of the play. Even if you discussed all the details, don’t hesitate to ask your partner about the feelings during the session. 


Practice aftercare.

BDSM is obviously physically and emotionally intensive for both sides. So healthy aftercare is an essential part of partners’ interaction. Cuddles, discussion and taking shower together are so helpful for processing the session and calming down.